Regulation and Dysregulation
Understanding regulation and dysregulation was a real turning point in my journey with my son. Regulation isn’t just about whether we appear calm, but whether we are settled in our nervous system and in our body. When we’re dysregulated, sometimes it is an external event, an accumulation of stress, or something physical within the body.
One of your important roles as parents is to help your child learn to regulate herself. We all learn to calm our nervous system in connection. If you can connect with your child and calm your own nervous system, your child’s nervous system follows along. You’re helping your child to learn. You’ll need to show them, not use a bunch of words. If you can connect with your own feelings of dysregulation and what you need to regulate yourself, your child will learn to regulate just by watching. Ask what you need and do that.
Using the brain stoplight, which we’ll be learning about next, can help you to have a conversation with your child later about your own process and to increase awareness and communication with your child.